Transform Conflict & Pain
in an ultimately joyous way
(with a little help from Carie)
Carie Fox’s Services
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Conflict Coaching
Are you trapped in a conflict? Sometimes that happens. Sometimes you can’t just avoid it or shrug it off. (Both of which are perfectly good strategies, btw. Until they aren’t.)
Well say hello to your new best teacher! There is something about you that is probably going to have to transform— whether you triumph, lose, overcome, dance or let go. Whether you win-win or win-raised-to-the-x or step sideways into an alternate dimension or find your power or lose it or laugh out loud or just find a good lawyer.
Really your very best teacher is you. As your conflict coach I’m likely to give you a few tools and insights, directly, but mostly my role would be to help your own teacher teach you, so that ultimately, at the end of the conflict, however it resolves, you have become more your true and favorite you.
Decision Analysis
Humans’ decision processes leave a bit to be desired. And that’s on two levels: how satisfying it is to get to a decision, and how useful the outcome of your deliberation might be.
Will you know, later? Will you be able to learn from how you thought it would play and how it did play, to make even better decisions in the future? Will you be kind to yourself about how best you dealt with uncertainty?
The decision you have before you might be fraught or joyous. Yet even in the fraught zone, the process of deciding can be innately satisfying. A good path to decisions is like refurbishing your sense of who you are and who you want to be. Oh yes, and it will refurbish your humility about how much you can know or control! You can’t make a good decision without being clear about your values, strengths and limitations.
And… a little geek about the science of deciding can really complement the work you’ll do in understanding your own values. Carie has a lot of geek to offer and a skill at packaging it in very accessible and even entertaining ways.
Let Carie help.
Coaching Mediators
Just as every therapist should have a therapist, every mediator should have a mediation coach (and maybe a therapist too 😉).
Carie is a marvelous coach to mediators. She knows the theories and has the foundation down solid, but she’s not going to recommend the rules mindlessly. She’s interested in the mediator you want to foster into being, not some other idea of the ‘right’ mediator.
She has your back.
Carie is an expert at one of the hardest mediator skills of all—self care (having failed at this in almost every possible way, and learned from it).
In her thirty years of mediating, Carie has had a tendency to reach across the boundaries to related and seemingly unrelated fields—from decision psychology to the math of uncertainty to improv to techniques for breathing and so on. As you mediate and prepare, interview, prepare some more, design, do, change your design, prepare again, do more, find your blind spots, worry about this and that… grow… you will find that Carie’s versatility means she is likely to be able to propose useful tools when and how you need them. Well, some of them will be useful to you and some of them won’t. The point is that she’ll be able to offer you a choice, and she will both respect and cultivate your discernment about which tools you want, which you don’t yet or ever and how you will go about deepening your practice as a mediator.
“So,” you ask… “does Carie still actually mediate?” To be honest, I’m more interested in the one-on-one work. But if you look at this and you and your co-conflictees think I’m just the right person for you… maybe I am for you and maybe you are for me. Ping me and let’s see!